I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This is the high leading the old right now
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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