Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
