So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
