He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
