What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
