TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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