So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
