I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
