Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
