My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
