Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
