You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
