based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
