christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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