Pregnant stripper...not hot.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
