any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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