we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
