As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
