you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
