he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
