No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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