how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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