I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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