Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
