In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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