there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
