i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
