great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
