You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
