summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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