We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
