Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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