Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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