What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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