The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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