so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
