ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Is it penis luge time yet?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
