Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
