Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I need water and some morals
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
