a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
farters have to be the big spoon...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
