they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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