My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
