do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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