my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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