Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
