I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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