R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I will pee on everything he values.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
