trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
