Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
