Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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