I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
