nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
