you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
