OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
